Market Research

It’s Rosh Chodesh Adar 1 and with Purim still 6 weeks away I was most surprised to see trays of Hamentaschen on sale in our local bakery. This presented me with a serious dilemma because, since time immemorial, I have steadfastly refused to eat those delectable delights until the day of the festival itself. On the other hand, it seemed that my Land of Israel neshoma was playing by a different set of rules, urging me to “stock up early”.

The problem was solved when I recalled some words of cult musician, author, politician (US) and never-seen-without-a-cigar, Kinky Friedman http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinky_Friedman. He was sitting with Bill Clinton in the Oval Office and took out a couple of finest Cuban cigars, offering one to the President. The latter declined saying that it would not be right for the President of the United States to smoke Cuban cigars because of the embargo against that country. Despite this, Kinky proceeded to hand him the cigar and delivered these immortal words: “Remember, Mr. President, we’re not supporting their economy. We’re burning their fields, one cigar at a time.”

I bought three and took them home. I didn’t eat them – I just decided to conduct some important market research ahead of the festival.

Here are some of my favourite Kinky quotes:

Ø  “Now I have a cat. Well, that's not quite accurate. A cat and I have each other.” 

Ø  “You don't accomplish much by swimming with the mainstream. Hell, a dead fish can do that.” 

Ø  “If you're lookin' for a helpin' hand, try the one at the end of your arm.” 

Ø  “Always respect your superiors, if you have any.” 

Ø  “Remember: Y'all is singular. All y'all is plural. All y'all's is plural possessive.” 

Ø  “If you have the choice between humble and cocky, go with cocky. There's always time to be humble later, once you've been proven horrendously, irrevocably wrong.” 

All y'all have a Shabbat Shalom and a  Chodesh Tov, now.

Six months

Bus tickets. Who would think that something so insignificant and so throw-away-able could mean so much? But it's the date - 30/01/14 that makes these tickets so special: they testify to us being here for six months (already)! Thank you, Hashem, for performing miracles to bring us home, to our Land - ad meah v'esrim!

So, we celebrated our first and second (Barb completed her 5 months in ulpan yesterday) milestones by going out for lunch at Café Café http://www.cafecafe.co.il/he/home/a/main/, topping (sic) it off with a free coffee and cake dessert, courtesy of our insurance broker  - for insuring our contents with him. The least I can do is give him a plug: http://egertcohen.co.il/!

Here's to the next 120 years, pG!

The top 14 facts they forget to tell you about aliya

The Jewish Agency and Nefesh B'Nefesh entice World Jewry to make aliya with a list of promises and a smattering of rhetoric.

Now, for the first time, The Times of Israel and AwesomeSeminars present “The top 14 facts they forget to tell you about aliya.”

Fact One
Your children will be Israeli. A small detail but important. Not only will they be first-generation sabras, they will laugh at your Hebrew, correct your grammar and wonder why you demand they use such words as “please” and “thank you.” Read more: http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/the-15-top-facts-they-forget-to-tell-you-about-aliya/

Know your limitations

Everybody in my building knows about it. "Know your limitations" was the helpful advice of one of my neighbours this evening and, to be frank, I thought I did. Nevertheless, I knew I was getting myself into a silly situation, but (once again) I didn’t want to “wimp out”. 

The first occasion was the “Hebron Tension Ambulation” – walking down ‘Sniper’s Alley’ in broad daylight.

The second  was the walk up the Snake Path at Massada when I could have elected to ride in the cable car. I really don't like heights and at one particular point (pictured below) I very nearly got down on all fours to make it past the narrowest part of the trail (but still managed to fire off a shot of my wife casually taking it all in her stride, oh yes!).

But I outdid myself a fortnight ago by agreeing to accompany my neighbour, Shaul, up to the roof to inspect our 'dood shemesh' (solar-heated water tank) to see if it was (ours that was) leaking, My head said, "No way!" and my heart said, "Don't let him think olim are wimps!", and my mouth said, "Of course I will!!". So we went up to the fourth floor and climbed TWO vertical metal ladders  up to the roof.

I put my head through the top hatch, quickly exclaimed, "It looks fine to me!" and then started to descend. But when I turned to climb onto the lower ladder I twisted a muscle in my back. That was on 16th January... I'm going for my second physiotherapy session tomorrow. Thank G-d, I'm more-or-less back to full strength but could do with a little bit more manipulation.

The irony is that I did exactly the opposite of what I spent years lecturing my children on what NOT to do (thanks for pointing that out, son) - don't take risks, better safe than sorry etc. On the other hand, in a funny kind of way, I proved myself right after all! Ha!

Nefesh B'Nefesh Aliyah Services

Nefesh B’Nefesh provides Olim with employment resources, assistance with governmental absorption, community-based guidance and support and need-based financial aid in order to make each individual’s Aliyah as successful as possible. Below is a brief description of the services that are available.

Pre-Aliyah Guidance and Support

Nefesh B’Nefesh provides guidance through all stages of the Aliyah process. Individuals who are at the initial stages of Aliyah planning can contact us with questions about applications, education and community options, assistance in planning pilot trips, information about Israeli citizenship and queries regarding Nefesh B’Nefesh financial aid and Aliyah flights. In addition, staff members are regularly available for personal consultations in dozens of communities throughout the U.S., Canada and the U.K. Our call center is available during regular North American and U.K. business hours and maintains toll free phone numbers, providing maximal convenience for anyone with questions about Aliyah. Read more: http://www.nbn.org.il/about/about-nbn-services.html