Market Research

It’s Rosh Chodesh Adar 1 and with Purim still 6 weeks away I was most surprised to see trays of Hamentaschen on sale in our local bakery. This presented me with a serious dilemma because, since time immemorial, I have steadfastly refused to eat those delectable delights until the day of the festival itself. On the other hand, it seemed that my Land of Israel neshoma was playing by a different set of rules, urging me to “stock up early”.

The problem was solved when I recalled some words of cult musician, author, politician (US) and never-seen-without-a-cigar, Kinky Friedman http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinky_Friedman. He was sitting with Bill Clinton in the Oval Office and took out a couple of finest Cuban cigars, offering one to the President. The latter declined saying that it would not be right for the President of the United States to smoke Cuban cigars because of the embargo against that country. Despite this, Kinky proceeded to hand him the cigar and delivered these immortal words: “Remember, Mr. President, we’re not supporting their economy. We’re burning their fields, one cigar at a time.”

I bought three and took them home. I didn’t eat them – I just decided to conduct some important market research ahead of the festival.

Here are some of my favourite Kinky quotes:

Ø  “Now I have a cat. Well, that's not quite accurate. A cat and I have each other.” 

Ø  “You don't accomplish much by swimming with the mainstream. Hell, a dead fish can do that.” 

Ø  “If you're lookin' for a helpin' hand, try the one at the end of your arm.” 

Ø  “Always respect your superiors, if you have any.” 

Ø  “Remember: Y'all is singular. All y'all is plural. All y'all's is plural possessive.” 

Ø  “If you have the choice between humble and cocky, go with cocky. There's always time to be humble later, once you've been proven horrendously, irrevocably wrong.” 

All y'all have a Shabbat Shalom and a  Chodesh Tov, now.