Tuesday 4 November 2014

Evangelical Christian Group’s New Aliyah Effort Raises Jewish Concerns

The largest evangelical Christian group publicly supporting Israel is preparing to assume a mission that lies at the heart of the Zionist philosophy – the promotion, funding and implementing of mass aliyah, or immigration, of significant numbers of Jews to Israel from their native countries.

On October 6, the International Fellowship of Christians and Jews will begin its own separate aliyah operation, directed by Israel’s former top official in charge of the issue, and funded by millions of dollars donated by American evangelical Christians.
Despite its apparently positive intentions, the group’s plan has generated intense controversy on different levels. The Jewish Agency for Israel, the official agency for promoting and implementing aliyah, feels that is turf is being invaded, while others have expressed reservations about the ideological and even theological implications of the Christian group’s new mission. Read more: http://jpupdates.com/2014/10/20/evangelical-christian-groups-new-aliyah-effort-raises-jewish-concerns/

Friday 4 July 2014

Same old, same old blood libel

The world's media lost no time in condemning Israel for the "revenge killing" of murdered Arab teen, Mohammed Abu-Khder. Not surprising since Israeli politicians also knee-jerked their condemnations within minutes of the news been relayed... and then promptly withdrew after the Police strongly suggested that the murder was carried out by Arabs http://www.israelnationalnews.com/News/News.aspx/182432#.U7aeSPmSwhE. Also, no surprise here, the mother of the slain boy has called for violent revenge http://www.israelnationalnews.com/News/News.aspx/182516#.U7acMvmSwhE - compare and contrast the reaction of the mothers of the three slain Jews (do you really need a link?).

So the truth is already out there - by which I mean that at this moment in time we simply do not know who murdered the Arab boy - but the most likely culprits - according to the Police, are Arabs. But, hey, let's blame the Jews anyway! This brings to mind a very similar blood libel, the "shooting" in 2000 of the other Mohammed (Al-Dura)  http://www.jta.org/2013/05/19/news-opinion/israel-middle-east/no-evidence-that-mohammed-al-dura-died-israel-says.

There are two questions here. First, why do Jews rush to condemn their fellow Jews of the most heinous crimes without first taking the time to find out what happened? Short answer: The Galut (Diaspora) Mentality. But of more interest is: how do we account for the ecstatic media frenzy that seeks to portray us in the most despicable way? Why are they so quick to accuse us of the very crimes that they themselves have perpetrated against us during this long and bitter Exile? (Consider how many times Israel is accused of behaving the same way to the Balestinians (sic) as the Nazis behaved towards us http://blog.adl.org/tags/blood-libel.)

In this week's parsha, Balak, the Gentile prophet Bilaam proclaims (Numbers 22:9) that, "It is a nation that will dwell alone, And will not be reckoned with the nations". This was not simply a statement of fact but a prophecy for all time. It is saying that the Jewish People has been chosen for a singular mission - of bringing G-d's Sovereignty back to the world through personal example, and in order to be able to focus on its mission, it has to be separate from the other nations of the world. Anyone is welcome to join us in fulfilling this mission, but it is not required. You can walk alongside us - by fulfilling the requirements of the Seven Noahide Laws http://www.aish.com/w/nj/For_Non-Jews.html - but we maintain our separateness in reaching the same destination together.

So, why the accusations? Why the gleeful baying at every turn.

The answer, I believe, can be found in the Talmud, (Yoma 54b), where the destruction of the Second Temple is related. It mentions that the wall-mounted, tapestry-like cherubs were paraded and degraded in public after the Temple had been looted. (The original cherubs that covered the Ark had been hidden at the time of the destruction of the First Temple to prevent it falling into the hands of Indiana Jones). Here is how the Talmud records it:

When the gentiles entered the Sanctuary, the saw the Cherubim joined together. They took them to the marketplace, and the said, "These Jews - whose blessing is a blessing and whose curse is a curse - should be involved in these matters (i.e. making graven images)?!" Immediately, they debased them (i.e. the cherubim).

In other words, for those gentiles "They're just like us!" is what gave them the greatest satisfaction. But why? It's because the Will of G-d, which is expressed through the commandments in the Torah, demands moral standards and requirements from all Mankind - whether Jew or Gentile. It means that a human being is never, ever free to do as he or she likes. Rather, he or she must submit his or her will to that of the Creator. And the Jew, as the 'repository' of that Divine Morality is expected to live up to the demands set down in the Torah.

Of course, we can only demand these standards of behavior of others if we ourselves adhere to them. If we do not live by them, why should the gentiles? Furthermore, if they are able to bring us down to the lowest level of human-animal debasement - to make us equal partners in the barbarity of acts they themselves may have perpetrated, then they are not required to take account of our Divine Mission and are free to indulge in their own desires.

Triplets


Proportional Response

Friends send the most wonderful things... Thanks, Sydney!

Sadly, it's only "the movies". Shabbat Shalom.

Thursday 3 July 2014

The ability to listen

The recent posting followed by its almost immediate withdrawal has prompted a few of my friends to ask what caused the sudden volte-face. Some might think that it smacks of indecision on my part but nothing could be further from the truth. I pride myself on my ability to listen to other people's views, after which I then make my decision and stick resolutely to my guns. A lot like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRPcssq-7Us

Song of Hope

I was pointed towards a catchy song: the translated lyrics are printed below.


I heard that you are coming back all the way
I saw angels preparing the table for the son of the King
I saw a ladder, too, ascending and descending
I heard wind touching the leaves

I saw you, it was not a delirium
I heard that the sea declared a joyous day
I saw the stars and moon dancing
They, too, know how to roll back

I heard that the sun is in fact a shadow
I saw a tower shake and fall
(chorus)

Come, we have been waiting for you for too many years
We have become mad, we have lost our visage
We are simply withering away, so come
Yes, come, there are no more vessels* for us to break
We do not know who is sober
and who is drunk, and falling into the well, as it happens

So come, yes come
I heard that you are really standing at the gate
and that every innocent lamb will be able to live in the forest, and I heard
that this heart, too, will not die anymore
Imagination will sign a peace treaty with reality

All the sounds will be one simple song
Come, we have been waiting for you...

Monday 30 June 2014

A cure for mosquito bites?

I post this with a clear health and common sense warning !! Note the instruction to warm a spoon under hot water, not boiling water so as not to burn the arm! And do keep in mind the super-sensitivity of children! I am now going off to the local mosquito patch to try this out. I'll keep you posted (geddit?)


Friday 20 June 2014

The Righteous Gentiles of the Nations

This man is a true Righteous Gentile. May G-d bless him and his family.


His website can be found here: http://www.patcondell.net/You can buy him a drink and/or buy his books - I did!

The indomitable Jewish spirit

This past Sunday, a woman named Racheli Fraenkel gave one of the most remarkable and moving pleas ever delivered by an anxious mother.

In remarks that spanned just 90 seconds, Fraenkel, whose 16-year-old son Naphtali was one of the three Israeli teens kidnapped last week by Palestinian terrorists, exemplified the virtuousness and inner strength of the entire Jewish people.

"I came out to say thank you," she began, before graciously praising others for their help and support.

There were no words of anger or rage, no hatred or calls for revenge. Indeed, from the outset, this woman, who had surely just been through the worst 48 hours of her life, immediately focused attention on others, making sure to offer them thanks and encouragement, as if she was not the one in need of such reassurance.

No one would have faulted Frankel for screaming, breaking down in tears or hurling accusations. No one would have condemned her for criticizing the powers-that-be, demanding action and blasting a world indifferent to Jewish suffering.

But in a steady and composed manner, this loving Jewish mother voiced appreciation for the "waves of prayer and support" and "positive energy" she and her family had received from a sympathetic public.

"Please pray with us," she asked, as tears began to well up in her eyes.

"They were just boys on their way home from school," she pointed out, before concluding on a poignant note of optimism. "We'll hug them soon," Frankel vowed, adding, "God willing, we will be able to celebrate their return safely."

What incredible inner strength! Like most Israelis, I spent this past weekend in a fog, my thoughts clouded by a mix of worry, disbelief and indignation.

I could not concentrate, found it difficult to fall asleep and felt guilty for laughing at a joke or savoring the aroma of a freshly brewed cup of coffee.

Immediately after the end of Shabbat, I rushed to check the news, hoping, praying that a miracle had occurred and the three kidnapped youths had been safely returned to their families.

Unfortunately, that did not happen, and I remained glued to the television set, desperately wanting to hear the anchor announce there was breaking news to report.

Instead, the viewing public was treated to one talking head after another, as the various channels tried to fill the time even though they had little if anything to report.

And then it happened. In an unexpected twist, I caught a glimpse of the indomitable spirit of the Jewish people, the unseen elements that are the secret of our survival down through the generations: faith and determination.

Across the country, in spontaneous and simultaneous acts of solidarity, thousands of Jews came together to do what Jews have always done in times of distress: They gathered to pray.

Just as Racheli Fraenkel had asked.

And not just on Saturday evening, when it was easy and convenient. Sunday too saw massive prayer gatherings at the Western Wall in Jerusalem, and at public facilities and schools throughout the country.

Tens of thousands of Jews from all walks of life put aside their arguments and differences, their quarreling and squabbling, and raised their voices as one, pleading with the Creator to have mercy on His children, on our children.

At the central synagogue in Ra'anana, an overflow crowd packed the sanctuary, spilling out onto the pavilion outside.

Several chapters of Psalms were recited, as young and old alike swayed back and forth in mounting intensity.

There was none of the chatter that often accompanies organized prayer services, no gossiping or sarcasm on display.

Just prayer, just the simple act of pouring out one's heart, imploring our Father in Heaven to heed His attribute of mercy and foil the plots of our foes.

As the verses written by King David soared upward, carried ever higher by the sincerity with which they were uttered, I looked around and pondered this extraordinary scene.

The Palestinian terrorists who had kidnapped those three children surely felt that in doing so, they would shatter this nation's morale. Our enemies know all too well how much we value life, and how precious we consider every soul to be.

Certainly, they told one another, this abduction will bring the people of Israel to their knees.

And that, perhaps, was their biggest mistake of all. Because instead of breaking us, this horrific act of terror has brought us all together, united as one in our love and concern for those three Israeli teens.

It has touched a nerve deep inside every one of us, reminding us that we must stand up to evil, confront it and defeat it, showing no mercy to those who seek our destruction.

Ironically, by seeking to rupture our resilience, the terrorists have only made us stronger. By attempting to crush our spirit, they have instead awakened our innate fortitude and valor.

I have never been more proud to be a part of this nation, to belong to a people that despite unprecedented injustice, continues to cling to its conviction and faith.

Armed with such belief, and confident in the justness of our cause, there is no power on earth that can or will stand in our way. Written by Michael Freund. Read more: http://www.michaelfreund.org/14932/jewish-spirit

Monday 16 June 2014

Bring Back Our Boys


Israeli Artists Dedicate New Single to Kidnapped Teens

Well known singers team up for an impromptu recording dedicated to the three abducted teenagers.

Famed and successful singers Naftali Kalfa and Gad Elbaz wasted no time in releasing a song, "Bring Back Our Boys," dedicated to the three yeshiva students who were abducted Thursday by terrorists.

The clip features the famous phrase "and the children shall return to their own borders," from the Book of Jeremiah, Chapter 31. Read more: http://www.israelnationalnews.com/News/News.aspx/181802#.U584QPmSwhE

Monday 12 May 2014

Great in Uniform

This is one of the most moving and inspirational films I have ever seen. You'll need to have your tissues to hand. I am indebted to my dear friend, Stuart, for sending it to me.


Monday 5 May 2014

66 Israeli Heroes Share a Message for 66 Years of Israel


I thank Hashem for His great mercy and kindness for allowing me and my family to be part of the fulfillment of His promise to return His Children to their Land. Come and join us!  Happy Birthday to Israel, my country!

Monday 14 April 2014

Boil it or burn it!

In the last few days, public boilings and burnings have taken place all over Israel. Here, in beautiful Ramat Beit Shemesh, we're all done and ready to go...

Wishing you all a chag kosher v'semeach! Please G-d, this Pesach in Yerushalyim!




Sunday 13 April 2014

"DAYENU" - A simple explanation of a complex poem

I have always found "dayenu"difficult to understand...until this morning when, thank G-d, I was able to find this very simple but illuminating explanation by Rabbi Menachem Leibtag http://torahinmotion.org/users/rabbi-menachem-leibtag. I have printed the explanation in full - I'm sure it will enhance your seder.


How could an observant Jew say, let alone sing, that -'it would have been enough'- even had God not given us the Torah?

And how could a Zionist say, let alone sing, that -'it would have been enough'- even if God had not given us the Land of Israel?

Nevertheless, every year at the Seder, we all sing the popular song of "dayenu", which seems to convey precisely that message!

In the following shiur, we attempt to answer this question.

INTRODUCTION
"Dayenu" is a very simple, yet beautiful poem - containing fifteen stanzas describing acts of God's kindness - each stanza stating that it would have been 'enough' had God only helped us in one way.

For example, we begin by saying it would have been enough had He only taken us out of Egypt, and not punished the Egyptians. The poem continues stage by stage through the process of redemption from Egypt (until we arrive in the Land of Israel and build the Temple), saying how each stage would have been 'enough', even had God not helped us with the next stage.

However, some of those statements appear very strange, for they include that it 'would have been enough had we not received the Torah', which simply doesn't make sense!

To understand what we are 'really saying' in "dayneu", we must consider its context, as well as it content.

A PREP FOR HALLEL
In the Haggadah, "dayenu" does not 'stand alone'. Rather, we recite (or sing) "dayenu" towards the conclusion of Maggid; after we tell the story of the Exodus, but before we sing the Hallel.

Following the guidelines of the Mishna (in the tenth chapter of Mesechet Pesachim), in Maggid - we tell the story of the Exodus by quoting (and then elaborating upon) the psukim of "arami oved avi" (see Devarim 26:5-8). But that very same Mishna also instructs us to begin the story with a derogatory comment, and conclude it with praise ["matchilin b'gnut - u'msaaymim v'shevach"/ see Pesachim 10:4).

Taking this Mishna into consideration, we find that "dayenu" is recited in Maggid - precisely when we finish telling the story of the Exodus (with the discussion of the Plagues) - and right at the spot where we are supposed to begin our "shevach" [praise].

Therefore, "dayenu" should be understood as a poem that was written as a form of praise, to conform with the guidelines set by the Mishna. This consideration will allow us to explain its full meaning - in a very simple manner:

Within this context, the refrain of "dayenu" has an implicit suffix. In other words, - "dayenu" should not be translated simply as 'it would have been enough'; rather, "dayenu" means 'it would have been enough - to PRAISE God, i.e. to say Hallel - even if God had only taken us out of Egypt, or only if He had split the Sea, etc.

In this manner, the poem poetically summarizes each significant stage of redemption, from the time of the Exodus until Am Yisrael's conquest of the Land - stating that each single act of God's kindness in that process obligates us to praise Him: e.g.

- Had He only taken us out of Egypt and not punished the Egyptians, it would have been reason enough to say Hallel
- Had He split the sea,but not given us the 'manna', that alone would have been reason enough to say Hallel...
... And so on.

With this background, the next paragraph of that poem makes perfect sense: "`al achat kama vekhama," - How much more so is it proper to thank God for performing ALL these acts of kindness, as He took us out of Egypt, and punished them, and split the sea, and gave us the manna etc.


"Dayenu" relates a total of fifteen acts of divine kindness, each act alone worthy of praise - even more so we must praise God, for He had performed all of them!

From this perspective, "dayenu" serves a double purpose. First and foremost, it concludes the story with "shevach" [praise]. and qualifies the Hallel that we are about to sing. However, it could also be understood as a continuation of the story of the Exodus. Let's explain why and how:

SIPPUR & SHEVACH
Recall that the last "drasha" [elaboration] on the psukim of "arami oved avi" led into a lengthy discussion of the Ten Plagues. To fulfill our obligation at the Seder' to tell the story', we could (and do) finish right here. But the poem of "dayenu" actually continues that story, picking up from the Ten Plagues ["asa bahem shfatim" refers to the Plagues], and continuing through all the significant events in the desert until our arrival in the Land of Israel. This is also congruent with the last pasuk of "arami oved avi", that includes arriving in Israel (see Devarim 26:9! - "va'yvi'einu el ha'Makom ha'zeh, va'yiten lanu et ha'aretz ha'zot"), which we don't elaborate upon in our version of Maggid, even though according to the Mishna it appears that we really should!

In this manner, "dayneu" is both "shevach" [praise] and "sippur" [story] - at the same time!

The 'HASHKAFA' of DAYENU
According to our explanation thus far, "dayenu" sets the stage for Hallel, as we will now praise God [by singing Hallel] not only in gratitude for taking us out of Egypt, but also in appreciation for each significant stage of the redemptive process. We thank God not only for the Exodus, but also for the 'manna', for shabbat, for coming close to Har Sinai, for the Torah, for the Land of Israel..., and finally for the building of the Bet HaMikdash.

From a certain perspective, this poem may allude to a very profound 'hashkafa' [outlook on life], and a message that is very applicable to our own generation.

Today, there are those who focus at the Seder only on the first stanza of "dayenu," viewing 'freedom from slavery' as the final goal, and hence the ultimate goal of redemption. For them, this first stanza of "dayenu" is 'enough' - and to them, that is the entire meaning of Passover - a holiday of Freedom.

Others focus only upon the last stanza, that without the entire land of Israel in our possession, and without the re-building of the bet-ha'Mikdash, the entire redemptive process is meaningless. In their eyes, Hallel should only be sung when the entire redemption process is complete, and Am Yisrael reaches its final goal.

The beautiful poem of "dayenu" seems to disagree with both approaches. Instead, each significant stage in the process of redemption deserves our recognition and for requires that we praise God for it, even though it is 'not enough'!

It is this hashkafic message, i.e., the understanding and appreciation of each step of the redemptive process, which "dayenu" can teach us. "Ge'ulat Yisra'el" - the redemption of Israel - even in our time, is a process which is comprised of many stages. Every significant step in this process, be it simply sovereignty, or partial borders, or victory in battle; or freedom to study Torah, even without complete redemption, requires our gratitude and praise to Hashem.

For each stage in that process, it is incumbent upon Am Yisrael to recognize that stage and thank Hashem accordingly, while at the same time recognizing that many more stages remain yet unfulfilled - and reminding ourselves of how we need act -to be deserving of that next stage.

"Dayenu" challenges us to find the proper balance.


The TANACH STUDY CENTER 

Shiurim by Menachem Leibtag 

In Memory of Rabbi Abraham Leibtag

The Two-Minute Seder


Thursday 10 April 2014

Pesach is coming...

...and it's coming a lot quicker than I hoped. Thanks to Trevor http://www.gowhitehallsolutions.co.uk/ for sending this helpful clip:


Wishing you all a Chag Kosher v'semeach!

Saturday 29 March 2014

A trip to Lizhensk

I must confess that I recently left Israel to travel to Lizhensk for the yahrzeit of the Noam Elimelech (Rabbi Elimelech of Lizhensk http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elimelech_of_Lizhensk). I could have flown directly from Israel but I used the opportunity to go to London first, see my daughter for a few days and then fly from Stanstead for an overnight trip to the kever.


Now, although we don't look too excited in the picture - it was taken at 1.00 a.m. and we weren't in the mood for smiling at the camera - it was, nevertheless, a most wonderful, spiritually enriching experience. From left to right, Simon Stern, Rabbi Mordche Marks, me. Different hats but united by a common purpose!

Thursday 6 March 2014

The Writing is on the (Abattoir) Wall


It is surely only a matter of time before shechita is banned in the UK see this article http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2574456/Stop-slashing-animals-throats-ritual-slaughters-halal-kosher-meat-says-new-leader-Britains-vets.html. The 'freedom of religion' argument will simply not wash with a populace that cares even less for religion than it does for going to war on behalf of those lovely Ukranians! And the fact of the matter is that halal is barbaric, so an alliance with the Moslems will only result on everyone going down on the same ship together. When it comes to defending shechita, only the cold hard scientific facts will win through - please G-d!

Tuesday 4 March 2014

Rabbi Kimche's boy!

Our rav, HaRav Alan Kimche http://rabbikimche.com/about/, has just sent out the following message and photo that IMHO shines like a beacon of light in the darkness. It concerns his son, JJ Kimche:

Our JJ at the Chareidi rally on Sunday in Jerusalem; 500,000 protesting against the new compulsory conscription laws. When I asked him what he had in mind by attending the rally in uniform, he wrote:

"I went so that people from both sides should see the other side.The hostile Chareidim should see a frum proud soldier standing up for himself, to break the stereotype of 'all the soldiers are kofrim (heretics) and tamei (impure) etc..' And the hostile secular press should see that there are proud committed soldiers who think that the idea of taking boys from the beis hamedrash and throwing them in prison is unconscionable in a Jewish State. Plus I needed a minayn for mincha."


Monday 3 March 2014

Is that my boy?

There was a demonstration yesterday in Jerusalem against drafting yeshiva guys into the army. I can't say for sure but isn't that my son in the top right hand corner standing next to the guy holding a placard?


Finding employment in Israel

Here's a useful site if you are considering moving to Israel, providing information on employment opportunities: http://www.anglo-list.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=65&Itemid=152

Saturday 1 March 2014

Handy website... I hope not!

If you're planning to move to Israel, you need to be aware of certain unpleasant things. Of course, everything is in Hashem's Hands so there is no need to be worried. But, like all good Scouts, one needs to Be Prepared. Please G-d, may we never have to use this knowledge. Visit the site here: http://www.oref.org.il/894-en/Pakar.aspx


Thursday 27 February 2014

US Dentists Take Licensing Exam For Aliyah



A record number of dentists from all around the US gathered in New Jersey on Monday to take the Israeli Dentistry Licensing Exam, in preparation for their aliyah (immigration) to Israel.

The 20 dentists were the largest number ever to take the test outside of Israel; their testing was held by the organization Nefesh B'Nefesh in an initiative to ease the transition to life in Israel. The organization has worked to increase aliyah from English-speaking countries.Read more at: http://www.israelnationalnews.com/News/News.aspx/177856#.Uw-_jvl_shE

Wednesday 26 February 2014

So You Want to Move to Israel?

When I told people that my husband and I, with our five kids in tow, were moving to Israel, they thought I was crazy. At some level, I wondered the same thing By Sarah Azulay

I remember the first time I publicly revealed my plans to make Aliyah to Israel. I had telephoned the president of our local Jewish day school to tell him that I could not serve on the board for the upcoming year because my husband and I, with five little ones in tow, were moving to the land of milk and honey. In the midst of the Intifada.

"You are moving to Israel," he said slowly, as if I must have undergone a lobotomy.
"Yes," I replied, feeling like I was having an outer body experience.
"And this is something you want to do," he said, indicating his further confirmation of my temporary mental imbalance.

At some level, I wondered the same thing. Even a cursory inventory of the muster it takes to move to Israel is enough to make the most desirous of Zionist dreamers wither in their tracks, and I have to admit, at the time I was no Zionist dreamer. Initially, we had simply wanted to live closer to my husband's family who all live in Israel. Read more at: http://www.aish.com/h/iid/48901372.html?s=mpw

Tuesday 25 February 2014

10 Tips to Successful Aliyah

  • Practical advice from people who made the monumental move to Israel

Uprooting your life, leaving behind friends, family, and familiarity to build a new life in Israel isn't easy. Here are ten important tips from people have successfully made the monumental move.
1. Keep an Open Mind
Elad Gefen, 27, who works in film and journalism and currently lives in Tel Aviv, highlights open-mindedness and lack of expectations as the number one ingredient for Aliyah success. Read more at http://www.aish.com/h/iid/10-Tips-to-Successful-Aliyah.html

Monday 24 February 2014

Aliyah processing at the airport

Making aliyah is easy, as this helpful video shows (sent to me by Stuart - thanks). This is precisely what happened when we made aliyah, although it took a little longer than the 1 minute 43 seconds featured here. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3CItFE4nS3Q

Monday 10 February 2014

Recycling at its worst


The recycling industry in Israel is not as well-developed as the UK's. Nevertheless, since the recent election is soon to be recycled, I am doing the same for this post from "way back then."

Did you ever stop to think what became of that tree you planted in Israel all those years ago? You know, the one you paid the Jewish National Fund to plant? Well, the good news is (if it hasn't already been burned down by arsonists) is that I have found it!!! It's on my Door of Peace!


Timberrrrrrrrrrrrrr!



Saturday 8 February 2014

Name droppers

Name droppers are the dullest of people. I heard Prince Charles say that in 1998 at a Gala Fundraising dinner for one of Sting's "save the Indians and the forests" projects. I was wedged between Sir Paul McCartney and Sir Alan Sugar at the time and I remember a very fascinating conversation that I had with the Dalai Lama, who was sitting opposite. It went like this:

DL: Please can you pass me the salt.
Zvi: In what way?
DL: What?
Zvi: What?
DL: Please pass me the salt.
Zvi: Is that a metaphor for something?
DL: No. It's for my soup.
Zvi: Ah! Amazing!

At which point the Dalai Lama tapped Cher on the shoulder and asked her to pass him the salt!

HRH Prince Charles, the Dalai Lama and me (out of picture, left)
100% true!

Speaking (sic) of conversations, I also remember something that Shlomo Carlebach ztl once said to me (he once performed an incredible kindness for me and my wife - maybe for another time), "Sometimes when you walk into a shul people look at you as if they wish you were dead." That comment made a deep impression on me and affected the way that I treat visitors to my shul. I was reminded of this because of something rather special that happened today - I received a "Welcome Pack"!!

Contents of Welcome Pack (in order of importance)

  • Bar of chocolate wrapped in gold paper
  • Bag of sweeties
  • Vessel for washing before eating bread
  • Embroidered towel for drying hands prior to partaking of bread
  • Laminated decorative bentscher
  • List of members of the shul - phone numbers and addresses
  • Telephone directory for Beit Shemesh
I was overwhelmed by this most surprising and thoughtfully constructed gift! And I am certain that my good friend, Kirk Douglas, would be too.

Thursday 6 February 2014

A moving story

This is a moving story that I have wanted to share for some time. If you are a regular follower of this blog (i.e. you visit once in a blue moon), then you would have noticed a couple of plugs being given to people who have outdone themselves with their kindness towards us.You simply can't beat a good friend - and you can't beat a good wife either, or you'll go to jail for a very long time. However, you can show your appreciation by giving them a mention on what is fast becoming the most popular and well read blog on t'internet (shurely, shome mishtake. Ed). So, if you are contemplating making aliyah and you'd like to know how to go about choosing a shipper - most likely the single largest expense you'll make, stay tuned.

Wednesday 5 February 2014

Oh no!

High Court to Reject Beit Shemesh Elections Appeal


On Wednesday night, the High Court for Justice is set to reject the appeal filed by mayor Moshe Abutbul (Shas) against the Jerusalem District Court's ruling to hold new mayoral elections in Beit Shemesh Read more: http://www.israelnationalnews.com/News/News.aspx/177137#.UvK2_vmSwhE

Who are you?

If you scroll down slightly on the right side you will notice a "Total Pageviews" counter. When I opened my blog this morning it was on 253. It's now 262... 9 visits today and at least 4 of them were mine, two were Jeremy's, one was my wife's and one was my daughter's. So, would the person who visited my blog today make yourself known and claim your £500.00 prize?

Tuesday 4 February 2014

Now hear this!



One of the more confusing aspects of life in Israel is the mobile megaphone. Simply take one car, add a couple of 100dB speakers and mix in a monotonous, droning voice delivering a repetitive soliloquy as it weaves its way around the neighbourhood. Think Bob Dylan  reading the phone directory with his fingers caught in the door.  Due to my poor Ivrit I am unable to work out what's going on - is it good news or bad? Has someone famous died, G-d forbid, or is it warning me to stay indoors because Madonna is paying a visit?



Well, as it happens, I was enjoying a peaceful moment over a cup of tea this morning while engaged in a confrontation with the deadliest biscuits known to man. (The biscuits won, I regret to say). Suddenly, the peace was disturbed by 'that sound'. So, I emailed my friend, Jeremy (that's him in the banner picture at the top of this blog) because he knows everything that's worth knowing (and some things that aren't). Apart from being a very good friend, he is also a highly talented media guy http://www.staimanmedia.com/. (My other friend is a surgeon - you really don't want to see his website.) Jeremy created some terrific marketing stuff in the recent elections and stands to benefit at our expense if the Supreme Court nixes the results due to significant vote rigging. (Why shouldn't the dead be able to vote? We are the Eternal People, aren't we?) Anyhow, I asked him what all the kerfuffle was about and he replied with this helpful insight, which is worth sharing: "One tip that only a veteran oleh would know: if there's music, it's usually not a funeral announcement." 

Monday 3 February 2014

If only our leaders spoke like this...

Seldom is the expression "preaching to the converted" observed more clearly than on the letters page of a newspaper. I often wonder why the people bother to write in and share their views with like-minded people who... share their views. This Post is a case in point. It's from Times of Israel and sums up what - probably - most Israeli's know and feel, but, sadly we say it to each other rather than the people it is aimed at. I guess it just makes us feel a bit better... like screaming into a paper bag.


Greater Men have Tried
Dear Secretary of State John Kerry:

Because of my respect for the United States, I will attempt to afford you the honor you think you so richly deserve. It’s hard to speak to you with anything but anger, hard to feel the need, again, to start from the beginning because you clearly choose to ignore history in your quest for glory. It is a quest destined to fail but its outcome, even, or more accurately especially, in failure, will hurt Israel.

Greater men than you have tried to make, to force, peace on the Middle East. I promise you, you will fail too. You will fail because you are not addressing the root cause of the problem. You, like so many before you, take the easy way out. Blame Israel. It is so easy to do, and so stupid. Read more: http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/greater-men-have-tried/

Saturday 1 February 2014

Welcome to our world!

I found this excellent video on YouThingy showing our home town, Ramat Beit Shemesh. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PalZ2VwAno8 Please ignore the spontaneous requests (ad nauseum) to "Buy in Beit Shemesh" - it will only make demand outstrip supply and put the prices up... and we're looking to buy. Thank you for your understanding.

Friday 31 January 2014

Market Research

It’s Rosh Chodesh Adar 1 and with Purim still 6 weeks away I was most surprised to see trays of Hamentaschen on sale in our local bakery. This presented me with a serious dilemma because, since time immemorial, I have steadfastly refused to eat those delectable delights until the day of the festival itself. On the other hand, it seemed that my Land of Israel neshoma was playing by a different set of rules, urging me to “stock up early”.


The problem was solved when I recalled some words of cult musician, author, politician (US) and never-seen-without-a-cigar, Kinky Friedman http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinky_Friedman. He was sitting with Bill Clinton in the Oval Office and took out a couple of finest Cuban cigars, offering one to the President. The latter declined saying that it would not be right for the President of the United States to smoke Cuban cigars because of the embargo against that country. Despite this, Kinky proceeded to hand him the cigar and delivered these immortal words: “Remember, Mr. President, we’re not supporting their economy. We’re burning their fields, one cigar at a time.”

I bought three and took them home. I didn’t eat them – I just decided to conduct some important market research ahead of the festival.

Here are some of my favourite Kinky quotes:

Ø  “Now I have a cat. Well, that's not quite accurate. A cat and I have each other.” 
Ø  “You don't accomplish much by swimming with the mainstream. Hell, a dead fish can do that.” 
Ø  “If you're lookin' for a helpin' hand, try the one at the end of your arm.” 
Ø  “Always respect your superiors, if you have any.” 
Ø  “Remember: Y'all is singular. All y'all is plural. All y'all's is plural possessive.” 
Ø  “If you have the choice between humble and cocky, go with cocky. There's always time to be humble later, once you've been proven horrendously, irrevocably wrong.” 

All y'all have a Shabbat Shalom and a  Chodesh Tov, now.

Thursday 30 January 2014

Six months


Bus tickets. Who would think that something so insignificant and so throw-away-able could mean so much? But it's the date - 30/01/14 that makes these tickets so special: they testify to us being here for six months (already)! Thank you, Hashem, for performing miracles to bring us home, to our Land - ad meah v'esrim!



So, we celebrated our first and second (Barb completed her 5 months in ulpan yesterday) milestones by going out for lunch at Café Café http://www.cafecafe.co.il/he/home/a/main/, topping (sic) it off with a free coffee and cake dessert, courtesy of our insurance broker  - for insuring our contents with him. The least I can do is give him a plug: http://egertcohen.co.il/!

Here's to the next 120 years, pG!

Wednesday 29 January 2014

The top 14 facts they forget to tell you about aliya


The Jewish Agency and Nefesh B'Nefesh entice World Jewry to make aliya with a list of promises and a smattering of rhetoric.

Now, for the first time, The Times of Israel and AwesomeSeminars present “The top 14 facts they forget to tell you about aliya.”

Fact One
Your children will be Israeli. A small detail but important. Not only will they be first-generation sabras, they will laugh at your Hebrew, correct your grammar and wonder why you demand they use such words as “please” and “thank you.” Read more: http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/the-15-top-facts-they-forget-to-tell-you-about-aliya/

Know your limitations

Everybody in my building knows about it. "Know your limitations" was the helpful advice of one of my neighbours this evening and, to be frank, I thought I did. Nevertheless, I knew I was getting myself into a silly situation, but (once again) I didn’t want to “wimp out”. 

The first occasion was the “Hebron Tension Ambulation” – walking down ‘Sniper’s Alley’ in broad daylight.


The second  was the walk up the Snake Path at Massada when I could have elected to ride in the cable car. I really don't like heights and at one particular point (pictured below) I very nearly got down on all fours to make it past the narrowest part of the trail (but still managed to fire off a shot of my wife casually taking it all in her stride, oh yes!).


But I outdid myself a fortnight ago by agreeing to accompany my neighbour, Shaul, up to the roof to inspect our 'dood shemesh' (solar-heated water tank) to see if it was (ours that was) leaking, My head said, "No way!" and my heart said, "Don't let him think olim are wimps!", and my mouth said, "Of course I will!!". So we went up to the fourth floor and climbed TWO vertical metal ladders  up to the roof.


I put my head through the top hatch, quickly exclaimed, "It looks fine to me!" and then started to descend. But when I turned to climb onto the lower ladder I twisted a muscle in my back. That was on 16th January... I'm going for my second physiotherapy session tomorrow. Thank G-d, I'm more-or-less back to full strength but could do with a little bit more manipulation.

The irony is that I did exactly the opposite of what I spent years lecturing my children on what NOT to do (thanks for pointing that out, son) - don't take risks, better safe than sorry etc. On the other hand, in a funny kind of way, I proved myself right after all! Ha!

Sunday 5 January 2014

Nefesh B'Nefesh Aliyah Services

Nefesh B’Nefesh provides Olim with employment resources, assistance with governmental absorption, community-based guidance and support and need-based financial aid in order to make each individual’s Aliyah as successful as possible. Below is a brief description of the services that are available.
Pre-Aliyah Guidance and Support
Nefesh B’Nefesh provides guidance through all stages of the Aliyah process. Individuals who are at the initial stages of Aliyah planning can contact us with questions about applications, education and community options, assistance in planning pilot trips, information about Israeli citizenship and queries regarding Nefesh B’Nefesh financial aid and Aliyah flights. In addition, staff members are regularly available for personal consultations in dozens of communities throughout the U.S., Canada and the U.K. Our call center is available during regular North American and U.K. business hours and maintains toll free phone numbers, providing maximal convenience for anyone with questions about Aliyah. Read more: http://www.nbn.org.il/about/about-nbn-services.html